Post by Angela L. on Mar 20, 2009 4:53:19 GMT -6
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.
In a London cemetery
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.
Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
A lawyer's epitaph in England
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
In a Georgia cemetery
"I told you I was sick!"
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.
On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England
On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.
Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.
On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.
The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas
Office upstairs
In Newbury, England [1742]
Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies,
Nobody laughs and nobody cries;
Where his soul's gone, or how it fares,
Nobody knows, and nobody cares.
In a Leeds graveyard [1861]
Here lies my wife,
Here lies she;
Hallelujah!
Hallelujee!
John Dryden (1631-1700) on his wife
Here lies my wife: here let her lie!
Now she's at rest, and so am I.
The Tired Woman's Epitaph
Here lies a poor woman who was always tired;
She lived ina house where help was not hired.
Her last words on earth were: "Dear friends, I am going
Where washing ain't done, nor sweeping, no sewing:
But everything there is exact to my wishes;
For where they don't eat there's no washing of dishes...
Don't mourn for me now; don't mourn for me never -
I'm going to do nothing for evere and ever.
To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Born 15 September 1822
Accidentally shot
4th April 1844As a mark of affection
from his brother
Hillaire Belloc (1870-1953)
Here richly, with ridiculous display,
The Politician's corpse was laid away.
While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged,
I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.
On an inkeeper 1875
Beneath this stone, in hopes of Zion,
Doth lie the landlord of the Lion;
His son keeps on the business still,
Resigned unto the heavenly will.
In a Welland, Ontario cemetery
Here lies all that remains of Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
A marvellous thing for this vicinity.
www.famousquotes.me.uk/epitaphs/index.htm
Famous Epitaphs
In memory of
Mrs. Abi Green
wife of Lieut. Asa Green
who died April 9, 1793
Aged 49 years, 1 month and 17 days.
Death is a debt to nature due
which I have paid & so must you.
Here lies Ned.
There is nothing more to be said--
Because we like to speak well of the dead.
I came into this world
Without my consent
And left in the same manner.
Chattanooga, Tennessee
On babies graves:
Ope'd my eyes, took a peep;
Didn't like it, went to sleep.
It is so soon that I am done for
I wonder what I was begun for.
Lake Mills Cemetery, Wisconsin
Here lies old Aunt Hannah Proctor
Who purged but didn't call the Doctor:
She couldn't stay, She had to go
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Medway
Dinah had a little can
'Twas filled with kerosine
And soon among the twinkling stars
Dynamite Benzine. *
(* Dinah might been seen)
On Joseph Crapp:
His foot is slipt
and he did fall.
"Help; Help" he cried
and that was all.
Mylor Churchyard, Cornwall, England
Blown upward
out of sight:
He sought the leak
by candlelight
Wiltshire, England
First a Cough
Carried Me Off
Then a Coffin
They Carried Me Off In
Boston, Massachusetts
Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder
She burst while drinking a Seidlitz powder.
Called from this world to her heavenly rest,
She should have waited till it effervesced.
Burlington, Vermont
Harry Edsel Smith
Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft
to see if the car
was on the way down.
It was.
near Albany, New York
Beneath this stone a lump of clay
Lies Uncle Peter Dan'els
Who early in the month of May
Took off his winter flannels.
Edinburgh, Scotland
On a miser who wanted to save money:
Thorp's Corpse.
When his wife died, the wording was changed to:
Here lieth Thorpses Corpses.
On the four husbands of Ivy Saunders:
Here lies my husbands 1 - 2 - 3
As still as men could ever be.
As for the fourth: Praise be to God
He still abides above the sod:
Abel, Seth and Leidy were the first 3 names
and to make things tidy I'll add his - James.
Shutesbury
Here lies a man who while he lived
Was happy as a linnet.
He always lied while on the earth
And now he's lying in it.
Cold is my bed, but oh, I love it,
For colder are my friends above it.
Calvary Cemetery, Chicago, Illinois
Here lies Pa.
Pa liked wimin.
Ma caught Pa in with two swimmin.
Here lies Pa.
Here lies the body of poor Aunt Charlotte.
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For 16 years she kept her virginity
A damn'd long time for this vicinity.
Death Valley, California
This stone was raised by Sara's Lord
Not Sara's virtues to record
For they are known to all the town.
This stone was raised to keep her down.
Kilmurry Churchyard, Ireland
I put my wife beneath this stone
For her repose and for my own.
Middlebury, Vermont
On an adulterous husband:
Gone, but not forgiven
Atlanta, Georgia
They abounded in riches
But she wore the britches ...
Essex, England
Here lies
Elizabeth,
my wife for 47 years,
and this is the first damn thing
she ever done to oblige me.
Streatham Churchyard, England
Here beneath this stone we lie
Back to back my wife and I
And when the angels trump shall trill
If she gets up then I'll lie still!
Barlinine Cemetery, Glasgow, Scotland
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna;
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the devil sent him Anna.
Ribbesford, England
1796 -- WISE -- 1878
Here lies the body of Ephraim Wise.
Safely tucked between his two wives.
One was Tillie and the other Sue.
Both were faithful, loyal, and true.
By his request in ground that's hilly
His coffin is set tilted toward Tillie.
Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada
Dear Sister
Here lies the body of Mary Ford.
We hope her soul is with the Lord.
But if for hell she's changed this life,
Better live there than as J. Ford's wife.
Sowersby
Grieve not for me my husband dear.
I am not dead but sleeping here.
With patience wait - perforce to die
And in a short time you'll come to I.
And the husband added:
I am not grieved, my dearest life.
Sleep on, I've got another wife.
Therefore, I cannot come to thee
For I must go and live with she.
I plant these shrubs upon your grave dear wife
That something on this spot may boast of life.
Shrubs must wither and all earth must rot.
Shrubs may revive, but you thank heaven will not.
She lived with her husband for 50 years
And died in the confident hope of a better life.
This Empty Urn is
Sacred to the Memory
of John Revere
Who Died Abroad
in Finistere:
If He Had Lived
He Would Have Been
Buried Here.
Connemora
Owen Moore
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.
Battersea, London, England
Here lies the father of 29.
He would have had more
But he didn't have time.
Moultrie, Georgia
Beneath his silent stone is laid
A noisy, antiquated maid,
Who from her cradle talked to death,
And never before was out of breath.
Here lies, returned to clay
Miss Arabella Young,
Who on the eleventh day of May
Began to hold her tongue.
1794-1863
1787 - Jones - 1855
Here lie the bones of Sophie Jones;
For her death held no terrors.
She was born a maid and died a maid.
No hits, no runs, and no heirs.*
(* errors) Scranton, Pennsylvania
Sacred to the memory of
Major James Brush
Royal Artillery, who was killed
by the accidental discharge of
a pistol by his orderly,
14th April 1831.
Well done, good and faithful servant.
Here lies the body
of John Round.
Lost at sea
and never found.
On John Penny:
Reader if cash thou are
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.
Wimborne, England
On John Yeast:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me
For not rising.
Ruidoso, New Mexico
On a dentist:
Stranger tread
This ground with gravity.
Dentist Brown
Is filling his last cavity.
Edinburgh, Scotland
On a grave digger:
Hooray my brave boys
Lets rejoice at his fall.
For if he had lived
He would have buried us all.
Falkirk, England
1690
Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones
Who ate while he was able.
But once overfed, he dropt down dead
And fell beneath the table.
When from the tomb, to meet his doom,
He arises amidst sinners.
Since he must dwell in heaven or hell,
Take him - whichever gives the best dinners.
She was not smart, she was not fair,
But hearts with grief for her are swellin';
All empty stands her little chair:
She died of eatin' water-mellon.
He got a fish-bone in his throat
and then he sang an angel note.
Schenectady, New York
Winterborn Steepleton Cemetery, Dorsetshire, England
Here lies the body
Of Margaret Bent
She kicked up her heels
And away she went.
Larne, Ireland - On a hanged sheep stealer
Here lies the body of
Thomas Kemp.
Who lived by wool
and died by hemp.
Bletchley, Bucks, England
Boot Hill Museum, Dodge City, Kansas
Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.
We made the mistake, But the joke's on him.
Silver City, Nevada
Here lies a man named Zeke.
Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.
(May be in Cripple Creek, Colorado)
Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona
Here lays Butch.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
Colorado
Bill Blake
Was hanged by mistake.
Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona
He was young
He was fair
But the Injuns
Raised his hair
1897-1922
Come blooming youths, as you pass by ,
And on these lines do cast an eye.
As you are now, so once was I;
As I am now, so must you be;
Prepare for death and follow me.
Which is not funny at all. But underneath, someone had added:
To follow you
I am not content,
How do I know
Which way you went.
Belturbet, Ireland
No disrespect meant...RIP